20+ Funny Golf Quotes – A Laugh for Every Hole

If you consider yourself a passionate golf enthusiast and believe you’ve mastered everything about the game, it’s time to reconsider. Even professional golfers have to admit that their knowledge is far from comprehensive. Not only golf expertness, you will hear a lot of funny golf quotes and comments on the course and clubhouse that add a touch of humor to the game.

What comes up in your mind when you hear someone say “It’s up there, but I know it shouldn’t be?” Of course, it refers to nothing other than the golf ball. Or, “A bad day of golf is 100 times better than a good day of work.”

In the following are more than 18 funny golf sayings, one for each hole, to accompany you through your upcoming round. Enjoy them, and feel free to share your favorite in the comments section below!

20 Most Funny Golf Quotes

“A bad day of golf is 100 times better than a good day at work.”

“Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course… The space between your ears.” – Bobby Jones.

“Nothing goes down slower than a golf handicap.” – Bobby Nicholas.

“Golf is a compromise between what your ego wants you to do, what experience tells you to do, and what your nerves let you do.” – Bruce Crampton.

“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.” – Dean Martin.

“Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five.” – Paul Harvey.

“Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated” – Arnold Palmer.

“I’m the best. I just haven’t played yet.” – Muhammed Ali.

“I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s game: it is called an eraser.” – Arnold Palmer.

“I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.” – Gerald R. Ford – the 38th President of the US.

“If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.” – Jack Lemmon.

“It is good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.” – Mark Twain.

“Golf?! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And, on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.”

“Pressure is when you play $5 a hole with only $2 in your pocket.” – Lee Trevino.

“Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you are not good at them” – Roy “Tin Cup” McAvoy.

“The older I get, the harder it is to find my balls.”

“The only sure rule in golf is he, who has the fastest golf cart never has to play the bad lie.” – Mickey Mantle.

“The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.” – Ben Hogan.

“They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken.” – Raymond Floyd.

Now you see, golf is not only about winning, but it is also about having fun. Never take yourself too seriously on the course, and have a sense of humor to satisfy your team. The greatest golfers in the world not only understand the game, but they also control their nerves very well. They know when to take it seriously, when to be pleased, and of course, how to create their laugh on the course. This is also why most funny golf quotes often come from famous golfers, such as Ben Hogan, Lee Trevino, and Arnold Palmer. In addition, you can refer to popular golf formats to make your game more interesting.

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